Elle Magazine – November, 2013. “Sex and relationships: Learning how to dirty talk…if you’re going to dirty talk in the bedroom, learn how to do it right with pro tips from a sexpert.”
To navigate this fine line, Calgary marriage counsellor Sig Taylor suggests that you focus on whatever feels genuine. “If it’s not authentic, it’ll feel awkward and unnatural,” he says. To get to a more comfortable place, he suggests that you “take what you’re actually feeling and amplify it. Say ‘I’m crazy attracted to you right now’ or ‘I just love it when you make that sound.’”
But complicating matters is each person’s unique scale of romantic to raunchy, which is always in flux. That you’re always (or ever) perfectly matched just isn’t realistic. “Most couples are different, and that’s a fact,” says Taylor. Mistakes and mismatches are inevitable, so before you storm out in a PC thundercloud, McKay recommends that you consider context and intent and stand your ground if anything’s firmly on your “No” list (um, joystick?) but also be willing to step out of your comfort zone. “Push your boundaries, but don’t push other people’s.”