I’ve talked before about how relationships often devolve from being love based to being needs-based contracts – the “scorecard.” I think it’s crucial that couples realize that “marriage” is a contract, a legal institution that historically has had little, if anything, to do with love. It’s only been about 200 years that men and women have been trying to be friends and emotionally intimate partners. We haven’t had a lot of practice and we’re having a lot of trouble with it. The whole notion of marrying for “love” is a relatively new idea. Remember, only relationships that are love-based are truly happy and fulfilling.
To keep the love alive, we must move beyond the “contract” aspect of marriage and focus on doing the WORK that is required. Couples cannot take their relationships for granted and expect to be experiencing love. Love only comes when the couple bond (connection) is nurtured on a regular basis – connecting each day in a meaningful way, taking time each week to have fun together and getting away on overnight adventures WITHOUT KIDS AND FRIENDS. Just these 3 fundamental habits can transform the quality of your marriage. Try it and see what happens!