The number one complaint couples bring into my office is “we just can’t communicate anymore.”
And my response….if you’re having trouble communicating – you’re having trouble handling the message.
Underneath most communication problems lies a thorny e conversation that you haven’t had yet…and…that you NEED to have.
Communication problems happen when people don’t trust each to say what they need to say. They don’t feel safe enough to share their true feelings because they’re afraid of the other person’s response. Good communication takes work, commitment and sometimes the help of a professional. Fear can be overcome and trust can be rebuilt when couples gain awareness and learn to use the right tools. Communication skills, once learned, last a lifetime.
You must be approachable. Human beings are social mammals and when relating to one another will always be in one of three modes: attack, avoid or approach. You must be willing to open your heart and show that you care about your partner – that’s being approachable.
In my practice as a marriage therapist, I help couples learn to communicate differently. With new tools and practice, misunderstandings and negative assumptions can be worked through and cleared up. A big part of the Relationship Essentials process is designed to enhance couples communication skills to that they can be more open to hearing what their partner thinks and feels.
If you’d like to start this process contact me and we’ll work together to get you and your spouse communicating again.