The Six Kinds of Testing and Manipulation
How kids push our buttons!

Which ones do your kids do?

1.  Badgering (“Why can’t I?, “But how come?,” “Why now?,”)

2.  Intimidation (yelling, screaming, banging doors, throwing things)

3. Threats (“I’m going to run away from home,” etc.)

4. Martyrdom (crying, pouting, looking sad, sitting in the closet, etc.)

5. Sweetness and Light (tell you how much they love you, say nice things)

6. Physical (most drastic, least frequent, attack you, run away)

Kids are smart. They develop creative and determined ways to either get what they want or avoiding complying with parent requests.

Working with couples for nearly 40 years, I’ve witnessed an increase in couples conflict over child management strategies. Typically one parent tends to be permissive and the other one more authoritarian. Studies show that “authoritative” parenting is most effective. For this reason I’ve been recommending 123 Magic for many years. The creator, Thomas Phelan, also has practical strategies on how to manage tantrums (intimidation).

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