Couples Counselling Blog

1. Practice Relational Mindfulness Learn how to interrupt knee-jerk reactive habits. You’re having a nice day and your partner disagrees or disapproves of something you say. In an instant you’re triggered and your nice day goes sideways. It’s these “small moments”...

We marry our baggage. We are naturally attracted to partners that trigger us into the 5 losing strategies. When this happens we become a different person, a younger more immature part of ourselves. Our brain gets hijacked. We act like immature children – lashing out...

1. Get control of your emotions – practice relational mindfulness In times of stress, our emotional systems go into “overdrive.” Coping mechanisms (healthy or otherwise) are amplified by stress and fear. If you were already disconnected before the crisis, it could get...

Whoosh… (The "knee-jerk" automatic response) Stop. Breathe. Think. (The mindful way to deal with the trigger) TIME OUTS The best defense against verbal abuse is a formal time-out. When either partner calls a time-out – by saying the words, “time-out,” by using the “T“...

Couples Check-In: How to Fill Your "Love Tank" It works best if you do it person but it also works by email, text or phone. Remember to do it every week and watch what happens! 1. Appreciations One recent thing you did or said recently that I appreciated… One recent...

Over the past few weeks, it’s become clear the world is facing an unprecedented challenge. Like you, I want to do what I can to keep our communities and families healthy and safe. My goal is to continue to provide a secure and effective counselling experience for my...

When couples first come to see me for an initial consultation what I always say to them as, "one of the things you will get from this appointment is a relational diagnosis." What I mean by that is by the end of the meeting, I'll tell you what's wrong, what the...