How to Have a Great Relationship: The 5 Winning Strategies
1. Practice Relational Mindfulness Learn how to interrupt knee-jerk reactive habits. You’re having a nice day and your partner disagrees or disapproves of something you say. In an instant you’re triggered and your nice day goes sideways. It’s these “small moments”...
read moreHow We Damage Relationships – The Five Losing Strategies*
We marry our baggage. We are naturally attracted to partners that trigger us into the 5 losing strategies. When this happens we become a different person, a younger more immature part of ourselves. Our brain gets hijacked. We act like immature children – lashing out...
read moreRelationship Survival Strategies for Isolation
1. Get control of your emotions – practice relational mindfulness In times of stress, our emotional systems go into “overdrive.” Coping mechanisms (healthy or otherwise) are amplified by stress and fear. If you were already disconnected before the crisis, it could get...
read moreStop Verbal Abuse – The “Time Out” Technique
Whoosh… (The "knee-jerk" automatic response) Stop. Breathe. Think. (The mindful way to deal with the trigger) TIME OUTS The best defense against verbal abuse is a formal time-out. When either partner calls a time-out – by saying the words, “time-out,” by using the “T“...
read moreThe Couples Check-In: How To Fill Your “Love Tank”
Couples Check-In: How to Fill Your "Love Tank" It works best if you do it person but it also works by email, text or phone. Remember to do it every week and watch what happens! 1. Appreciations One recent thing you did or said recently that I appreciated… One recent...
read moreVideo Counselling – Keep your Relationship Healthy and Stay Safe
Over the past few weeks, it’s become clear the world is facing an unprecedented challenge. Like you, I want to do what I can to keep our communities and families healthy and safe. My goal is to continue to provide a secure and effective counselling experience for my...
read moreSig giving a talk and workshop, Sunday, Feb. 16, Unity Church, Why Relationships Fail: “The Five Losing Strategies”
When couples first come to see me for an initial consultation what I always say to them as, "one of the things you will get from this appointment is a relational diagnosis." What I mean by that is by the end of the meeting, I'll tell you what's wrong, what the...
read moreOnline Mindfulness Training
Studies show that couples who practice mindfulness feel more secure and stable in their relationships. Now you can get online mindfulness training in my new 10 week program! The cost is drastically reduced and it's just as effective as one-on-one counselling....
read moreThe “Emotional Jug”
"When it comes to emotional intimacy, most of us, especially men, struggle." The Problem - Emotional Intimacy Why do we fall out of love? Why does it get harder to feel the joy and pleasure of an intimate relationship? Why is the divorce rate over 40%? Why are 70% of...
read moreHealthy Personal Boundaries
What are personal boundaries? "Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards them and how they will respond when someone passes those limits." - Wikipedia...
read moreRECENT POSTS
How to Have a Great Relationship: The 5 Winning Strategies
1. Practice Relational Mindfulness Learn how to interrupt knee-jerk reactive habits. You’re having a nice day and your partner disagrees or disapproves of something you say. In an instant you’re triggered and your nice day goes sideways. It’s these “small moments”...
read more