Couples Counselling Blog

The “Emotional Jug”

"When it comes to emotional intimacy, most of us, especially men, struggle." The Problem - Emotional Intimacy Why do we fall out of love? Why does it get harder to feel the joy and pleasure of an intimate relationship? Why is the divorce rate over 40%? Why are 70% of...

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Healthy Personal Boundaries

What are personal boundaries? "Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards them and how they will respond when someone passes those limits." - Wikipedia...

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Avoiding Unnecessary Conflict

One of the biggest mistakes couples make is having spontaneous, "in-the-moment” discussions about issues. Something our partner says or does triggers us and we feel instantly annoyed. Recently my wife and I were driving to a dinner party and when I glanced at the fuel...

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Dealing With Difficult Emotions

I've been talking a lot lately about emotional reactivity, "triggering," and how it's the bane of intimate communication. It's the main reason couples get into the "silence or violence" pattern. Don't talk versus talk and get into conflict. Not much of a choice. All...

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The “Happy Pill” (hint: it’s not Prozac)

"Suppose you read about a pill that you could take once a day to reduce anxiety and increase your contentment. Would you take it? Suppose further that the pill has a great variety of side effects, all of them good: increased self-esteem, empathy, and trust; it even...

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